Murphy’s Laws of Tardiness

Murphy’s First Law of Tardiness:  The speed of the children involved is inversely proportional to the number of minutes by which the parent is running late. 

(That is to say, the later I’m running, the slower my kids are. At everything.)

Murphy’s Second Law of Tardiness:  The ability of necessary items to hide increases by a factor of ten for each minute by which the parent is running late. 

(Loosely translated as, “Where on earth is my car key?!?!”  Repeat twice a minute for twenty minutes whilst turning the house upside down.)

Murphy’s Third Law of Tardiness: The number of red lights between the parent and their final destination is directly proportional to the number of minutes by which the parent is running late. 

(In other words, every light was red this morning.)

Murphy’s Fourth Law of Tardiness:  The intensity of squabbles between children involved increases exponentially based upon the number of minutes by which the parent is running late. 

(“She hit me!” *insert angry baby babble and pointing here*  “But I didn’t do anything to her!”  *insert more intensely angry baby babble and pointing here*  Lather, rinse, repeat.)

All’s well that ends well, I suppose.  We are all in our proper places, hopefully with smiles on our faces.

I just hope Murphy’s had his fill of our house for awhile.

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2 Comments

Filed under Everyday Bliss

2 responses to “Murphy’s Laws of Tardiness

  1. So very true! Especially the red lights! So annoying… lol

  2. Mary

    You hit the nail right on the head!

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