On how we came to be an Army family

Meeting people on an Army post is much like meeting people in college.  Everybody always has the same conversation.  In college, it’s about your hometown, your major, and whether or not you’re involved with anyone.  In the Army, it’s about the soldier’s MOS (occupation), where you’re from, and how you and your soldier decided to join the Army.

Knight and I met in college and started dating in 1997.  It was my junior year, and his first year.  He “lived a little” before starting college, and struggled academically during that first year.  He seriously considered joining the military at the end of that first year, even to the point of taking the ASVAB and going to the MEPS with his brother-in-law, who was intending to join.  I was ready to walk away if Knight joined; I told him that I wasn’t going to wait for him after a relationship of just a few months.  I “encouraged” him to finish school first.

It turned out that Knight’s brother-in-law was permanently disqualified due to a previously undiagnosed medical condition.  Whether Knight’s decision to not enlist at that point was due to that factor or me, I don’t know… but I’m betting it was a bit of both.

Fast forward about six years.  Now we’ve been married a few years, are expecting our sweet Jet, and Knight is graduating.  Again, he begins to talk about enlisting in the military, this time the Air Force.  But I, the control freak, had The Plan.  The Plan was that we were going to move to my hometown, where my parents still live.  Knight was going to get a nice, stable, corporate job, complete with benefits and 401K, and work his way up the ladder while I stayed home and did my best to imitate June Cleaver, sans heels and pearls.  So, we moved to my hometown, where Knight practically bent over backwards trying to fit himself into the mold I had created for him.

Fast forward four years.  Knight has spent these four years in various jobs, struggling and failing to attain the impossible standards I’ve set.  During those same four years, we’ve been active in a church for the first time ever in our relationship, and I’ve finally allowed God to work on my heart about the roles we are designed to play in our marriage.  God slowly, surely, sweetly begins to break me of my need to control everything about my life.  He teaches me, through family, friends, and His own words, that the best way to a peaceful marriage is to let my husband be who He created him to be, not who I planned for him to be.  Gradually, I surrender The Plan and trust God for His Plan.

In January 2008, Knight begins to talk about enlisting in the military again.  He has a long way to go to be Army material… let’s just say that he was “too much man” for the Army.  He starts working out and losing weight.  After a couple of months, I realize that he’s really serious about this Army thing.  In May, on the way to my sister’s wedding, he says the one thing my heart has been waiting to hear:  “This is what God is telling me to do.”  Instantly, I felt peace rush through my body like an electrical current, and I’m confident that this is part of His Plan.  So, I turn to Knight, and simply say, “OK”, ready to support him and follow him to the ends of the earth.

Thankfully, I’ve only had to follow him to New Jersey (so far)!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

1 Comment

Filed under Army Life, Everyday Bliss, Marital bliss

One response to “On how we came to be an Army family

  1. wendy

    Thank you for your post. It has helped me to remember that God truly IS in control of our lives. As the wife and also the mother of soldiers, both of whom have been or currently are deployed to Iraq, I sometimes lose sight of this. Thanks once again.

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