Parent-ese

After putting together Jet’s dictionary entry the other day, it occurred to me that I, as a parent, probably say some extremely ridiculous things, too. I thought I’d start a new blogging category and document those for posterity as well. Of course, with most of them, you have to read the situation to understand where I’m coming from. At least, I hope you’ll understand.

Tonight, we decided to spend our Denny’s gift cards and go out to dinner. On the way into the Denny’s, Knight was opening the door, but didn’t see Jet right under his arm. The man opened the door right into Jet’s face. At that instant, it wasn’t funny in the least, but as I replay it in my mind to describe … well, let’s just say that I might have $10,000 if I’d had a video camera. To top it off, though, the door was glass, and I saw his iddy-widdy face all smushed up against it for just a split-second. I might not be the meanest mom in the world (though I might be when he gets a car!), but I’ll be laughing at that image for awhile, especially since he wasn’t really hurt.
Inside the kids’ menu at Denny’s, they offer rocket cups. I normally would scoff at paying two bucks for something like this, but Knight ordered one for Jet. I suppose it helped to assuage his guilt at smacking his son in the face with a door. (Still chuckling.)

We brought the cup home, Jet sucking down Sprite the whole way.

After playing for awhile, I announced that it was bath time. Jet tried to convince me that the rocket cup should be taken into the bath because the fifty-eleven plastic doo-dads that he already has aren’t enough to get him clean. Or some such nonsense.

My reply was utterly brilliant: “Your rocket is for drinking, not for playing in the bath!”

Maybe I should send that one to Hallmark.

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