… except that I wasn’t on any. File this under “Stupid things only a parent says”.
Jet wanted cheese for dinner, and by “cheese”, he means, “Individually Wrapped Slices of American Cheese”. So, I gave him a piece to have with the other stuff we were eating. He finished it and asked for more. He ate the second one, too.
By this time, Knight and I were done eating and were beginning to clear the table. I was also trying to read the information about the antibiotic I received from the doctor today (diagnosis: sinus infection). Jet began demanding more cheese.
After extracting a “please” from him, I went to the fridge. I had to open a new package of cheese slices (hereafter referred to as IWSAC). As I stepped back to the table, Jet let it be known that HE wanted to pick his own slice of IWSAC. Then he started in on this thing he’s been doing lately where he contradicts himself about 100 times in 5 seconds: “I want that one. No, I want THAT one. No, I want that one. NO! I want THAT one.” He gets progressively more whiny with each statement.
Finally, I’d had it up to HERE. I tossed the whole package on the table and brilliantly commanded, “JET! They’re all the frickin’ same! Just pick a cheese!”
I was holding it together, even after I realized that what I’d said would sound ridiculous to any normal person, until I realized that Knight was snickering at the sink behind me. I lost my grip on my Firm Disposition.
Jet finally figured out which IWSAC he wanted. Incidentally, it was the FIRST one I tried to hand him. Hmph.